riding the emotional hamster wheel of grief: it tiptoes its way back into my smile to make sure I know that it's still there; ebbs and flows no matter how I try to control it. there is no expiration date as to when it will leave and no way to be certain that it won't rear it's ugly head again. it doesn't leave after the funeral is over. it doesn't subside when you are pregnant with another child. it doesn't check out when you start the new job or move somewhere else. it doesn't end when the relationship ends or even when you meet someone new. there is no official marker of time when you should "just get over it." good grief.