riding the emotional hamster wheel of grief: it tiptoes its way back into my smile to make sure I know that it's still there; ebbs and flows no matter how I try to control it. there is no expiration date as to when it will leave and no way to be certain that it won't rear it's ugly head again. it doesn't leave after the funeral is over. it doesn't subside when you are pregnant with another child. it doesn't check out when you start the new job or move somewhere else. it doesn't end when the relationship ends or even when you meet someone new. there is no official marker of time when you should "just get over it." good grief.
we gotta go straight for our pain, like going straight for the jugular. don't run from the pain and go for the easy... don't hide it under being "too busy" or full of distractions, seeking attention, using people, organizing the next big thing, the never-ending tasks.
you go for the pain man, because that's where all your wisdom lies. that's where the ability to expand is. it will require hard work, but that's where you will really know yourself even better.
and sometimes, it sucks. it's exhausting... IT'S PAIN.
but guess what's on the other side ... ?? don't look at me! when you're on the other side of it you'll know it for yourself.
don't be afraid of you pain, be afraid of your comforts.